Guest Blogger: Anti-iWay supporter, Pedro the petrol can

This week we talk to an unusual Guest Blogger, Pedro - who’s in fact a petrol can. Pedro first approached us after he thought iWay and our messages were a bit one-sided.




I am Pedro Supremo and I am here to bring some common sense and balance to the iWay programme.

Oil and car companies spend billions of dollars every year promoting their products, and the common people love to hear from them. But do ever see any of this mentioned on iWay? Of course not - and I’m going to put that right.

This week, the iWay team will be promoting something really big. And I’m telling you straight: DON’T GET INVOLVED. Stay home, watch telly, pick your nose, whatever. I don’t care.

I have many important opinions, but some of them are so important that you need to understand them right away.

I call this the “Pedro Supremo Manifesto”. Why not print it out and keep it?

1. 100% journeys by car – by 2020 I aim to see every short trip being made in a car. Even for really short journeys, like putting the bins out.

2. Quit whinging about the cost of fuel. Petrol is great value per litre (compared to perfume). That hundred bucks you just spent filling up? I earn that in half an hour.

3. Stop encouraging kids to cycle. Years ago we all cycled as children, but now we all drive and that makes it too dangerous for our kids now. Why should they get the same opportunities we did when we were kids? I don’t like kids anyway and I don’t want to spend any money on other peoples.

4. Remove the new cycle lanes. No one cycles anyway, at least no-one I like. Which is not very many people, actually.

5. Cyclists must pay for the cycle lanes. I know I just said there were no cyclists, but if there were some, why don’t they pay ?? And here’s something else that annoys me: do pedestrians pay for the footpaths ? Do kids pay to use the park ? NO THEY DON’T!

6. Let’s be generous. Almost all the money we spend on cars and petrol goes abroad, rather than staying here in NZ. I met someone from Kuwait the other day, and he told me how desperately this cash is needed to support good causes over there.

7. Share the Road? Pah! I don’t share my car, I don’t share my dinner, and I certainly don’t share any of the profits from my company. Why the hell would I want to share the road?

8. Don’t ever call me a “fuel can”

I’m not particularly interested in your opinions. But if you would like to talk about mine, just email me at pedro.supremo@myself.com